Saturday, September 24, 2011

kesedihan and kekecewaan part 1

since i entered my degree,many things had happened .as for now,i'm clueless and very confused.i just hope for each thing which happened,it would strengthen me even more.then,i realized it wasn't.many had happened...i really do not have the guts to spill all the stories,i was stucked in the midst of overwhelming memories of losing laptop to be precise,my new lappy,my cutie,my hottie and seemed everything to me right now was found misssing, was a very hard test to me thinking that it was my first lappy and the worst of it,i've been keeping this secret from my mom.not even 2 weeks of using it.i'm so gonna be dead if my mom knew about this.see...its more than what i could ever contained and this problem has make me cried non-stop,all night.all my friends already knew about it.some of them even gave me some advices which might help to reduce the burden,unfortunately,the effectiveness of them can only be seen only for short period of times.then,i went on meroyan-ing and menoya-ing.the thought of losing the laptop never seems to leave my mind.the problem worsen when there were many assignment and lab reports to do and told to be sent within certain would get harder because everyone need to use the laptop because they have their own things to do.and me,i'm yet to finish everything and it took times to me to make all of them,often happpend,at the end,i'm not finish with what i'm saddened me a lot,really.and sahaful...i knew you have done your best encouraging me not to surrender and keep myself tough when the going get tough...try to put me in the right path...but it was hard and from your stories i couldn't see the similarities of our last,you still can claim the losing motorcycle and but not mine and the the most prominent of didn't know who stole your motorcycle but me,it was clear the culprit was one of our housemate.the drop of my confidence seemed to decrease even more,my prayer turned out not answer.even after all i have done.i'm losing confidence in god and everything...till several days before raya i decided to stop everything.i came to think the root of all the problems i'm facing right now was bio-molecule thing.apart of that,this bio-molecule thing is an environment where excellence is celebrated and failure is always being seen as a bad event that you can cry for nights or even months.its the source of my painful two days before raya,i have quit from that programme...

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