what i feel from my heart

i'm back!!!

well nowadays those who read this blog may notice that i started to blog out more and more this days...it's quite peculiar as back then i only do blogging when there is something i really need to tell...but now it has change.

maybe, it was because my life was boring and i couldn't find anything to fit myself in...is it so???...

those who read this writing, i'm sure that they might say it otherwise and those who didn't even know me and suddenly bumped into this blog and read this posting, i'm sure that they would say it different or maybe, they would even say that my life is compelling....if you are that person or any kind of it then you are wrong...

actually, my life is dull, numb and it is not like what you had in mind when you saw me or befriended with me..

the question is why...

the truth is i'm unpredictable, my feeling is unpredictable, my action is unpredictable and for every and each crap which came from me, it is spontaneous. but despite all that weaknesses, i still can sense the kindness and sincerity of a person. dealing with people with such character,i found out that they are more easy to get along with in fact they always make me feel very calm each time i'm with them though some of them is actually nerd or some kind of character people are not really fond or prefer...sadly,there is only a few of them.not much.i can count them by fingers.

there and then,there is this kind of people...the character that i hated most. they are evil people.precisely,they are some kinda people that like to make other people looked stupid. they sometimes could be even more mean likes ticking off the other people all of sudden or for unacceptable reason...

if it happened that u r coincidentally read this blog one day, you might able to guess who they are.

also,of late,i became to realize something important...

we actually living in this world with certain particular desires that we want to be satisfied.maybe we lived to play,to have some friend whom we can share our problems with,study to get an A to not be shamed in class,to be strong,to chased the man or woman that you want to be the partner of your life,to be man of the match,to walk arrogantly,to wear smart clothes,stuck inside tight or baggy trousers,these might be one of the objective in your life Meaning objective here, is that things that you want at least to achieved so that you will experience your personal gratification gleefully.

...but when you have grown up, you tend to view this world differently you are more clear in outlining the purpose of you living in this world not just breathing the air,do whatever you want and that is it,nothing more to life.The way of you speaking with others,the language that you use, differed,and your intellectual thinking has been more critical.These represents that your level of maturity has increased and evolved.but we can also go into the wrong direction if we just let go what we got and never got them controlled.we have to make something useful out of it

that is what we supposed to do in life...and that is life...

apart from that as a rememberance,not only to those who will real this posting but also to myself.it is;

befriending with everyone and never degrade anyone.

I hate repeat and explain things that are so clear, twice. It makes me want to shout at your face.

oh, everything in here is random and it’s always about me, not about you.

unless you want to think it is, go ahead then but don’t look after me for explanation when i obviously have nothing to explain because it has nothing to do with you.

ok, so this is when they are too many unwanted people around you.

bestnyer kalo cam gini selalu...

today was fantastic...and funtastic...hehehe

guess what...it is because i got the chance to swim at swimming pool again.this time, we have been to Tekam resort.well..i've learned swimming with hashrik before when we were at Gambang water park,so this time its kinda easy.

Tekam resort actually is not as bad as the rumours say.even its pool is not as big as the standard pool size,we still can enjoy swimming there.

everything went so fast then.we only realized that we were already late when there was downpour of heavy rain.if not we were still playing and mingling in the water...i can bet...

the most amazing thing seeing was how azmi controlling his body to swim.he swim very fast.unlike me, my swimming is quite slow because i got problem to float my body.if i swim too fast, my leg tend to go down and if that happened,it would be very hard to move.

also not to be forgotton is the time when we jumping (me,myself and epul) simultaneously into the water. i was afraid i might drowned or something.it was because the pool was deep, it's about 1.5m but to my surprise nothing happened.i'm still able to swim right after that.many actions were showed.some of them were very weird.it's like some poses of some creatures yet at the same time we tried to maintain our beautiful figures...hahaha

now how many people could do tha

we end our day high by eating everything that we bring along...

x sabar rasanyer nak pergi lagi...

well...azmi has made promise to go there again right after the final ended

i will wait for that day to come...

see you again...

confused...

it's just a week away before the final exam...
at this time, every and each student often studying very hard so that they are able to score during the final exam.
at this time, everybody is far from calm and based on my experience during my life at hostel, at this time most of the students would force themselves to study beyond their own limit. they would doubled their work. me myself was not an exception. i also did the same thing. it was fun when i'm thinking it back and here this semester,i no longer live in the hostel.it is due to university policy that the final year students were not allowed to live in the hostel.so my friends and i rented a house not very far from our university.living outside, everything was completely different. the most obvious was i've become more lazy to study...i've started cheating a lot more in tests than before...i got zero in everything...biology, chemistry,...english...
now i'm having that exam back...but right now what i'm doing is surfing internet for hours non-stop...i'm lack of feeling to study...its like i'm just plodding along and seemed to have any worries about the final exam...
OMG...what i'm doing...but it was the thing that was told to me before i'm officially registered myself as a student in this university.most of the seniors said that final year student tend to get distracted and gradually drowned little by little when they were at their final semester.now i couldn't agree more on that thing.
one more thing...it's about xxx
to tell the truth, there are still many things to be revealed but it's enough that i focus only these 2 things
back to xxx
i didn't know what happened to our fff
xxx is trying to avoid me all times
xxx lately becoming even more ghetto than before
everthing xxx came up with,xxx came with something really painful. it really is. i can feel it or maybe xxx truly not realized or pretending not to realize...
is it xxx want to take avenge on me?
is it xxx started to feel bored being with me?
i don't know...
maybe xxx aiming for something new...
maybe xxx want to be something...
maybe xxx wants to put stop for everything that we had...
maybe xxx wants to be free...not just being controlled...well he's not controll by anyone...it is

as for now i just keep quiet and trying to adjust myself to every situation i need to even it is so peculiar and not welcoming...

all in all, it was a test by God to me.it is done not to punish me but to have had myself learn something.

after all, we are all human beings and therefore we are not perfect.but we can improve ourself to be a good person. God love those who want to improve themselves because that is a sign of not giving up easily with our own inadequacies as a human being.

i'm in the vegitative state

i know i didn't post anything for quite along time. i have purely no excuses for that. It is partly because i am a bit tired with homework, studies and tests

but, the moment i start giving excuses as mentioned above, i think that it is very alarming. it is simply because that shows you are slowly losing the multitasking skills which is very important if you plan to accomplish many things within a fixed time period.

therefore, i need to reinforce the message why I decided to become a blogger. it is because i want to improve my English ( i hope it is getting better) and more importantly i want to write well. but, how can you become a good writer when you keep posting no articles?

this might be the shortest article ever written for this blog. nevertheless, it is good to start somewhere i think.

many stories and issues i want to comment on. have no worry, i will try to get back soon.