Monday, December 31, 2012

The end of 2012

I could not thank epul enough for Ugly Betty. The drama was so inspiring and I never even bored watching all the same episodes during my free time. Whenever I have problems or if there was something screwey , I would watch Ugly Betty and let myself drowned in Betty Suarez World until all my problems went off and the situation get cooler. Just so everyone knows, I have to deal with a little adversity earlier this year. No, lots. I felt that my life was over and I have nothing left with me in life. First thing first, the laptop which my mom bought me got stolen. I quit my study before the culprits were even found. Then, as I start rebuilding my life, I was taken by storm to know that both my MP4 and camera too were missing. I started to think that Allah was unfair to me and so was my life.
From that moment on, I started to neglect my responsibilities toward God and let the life controlled me because I was very disappointed with what had happened. I worked at Pusat Pakaian Hari-Hari to recollect all the money needed to buy the new laptop. I never told my mother about everything that happened. I just give her the reason why I have to quit. I was all alone and only God know what I felt at that moment. There were just too many lies. To made matter worse, I hate working at that place and could not get along really well with my colleagues. I managed to made some new friends though but sadly they were not working there really long because their semester break was over. I had a big quarrel with my mother when I decided to come clean and told her about everything
I got some money at the end. Back to Shah Alam, I asked for help from epul . I felt quite relief to be able to get a new laptop but life still seemed uncertain and the peace was not Iong before I was rocked by some horrible news that I missed the September intake of Uitm. One problem goes here come the another. The situation was a bit different this time because epul managed to landed me on a  teaching job. I needed to teach student at the tuition centre. Well, I began very poor but I were a quick study and not long after that, my teaching went on very smooth. I got the opportunity to take part in an event organized by Malaysian Franchise Association and from there, I learned a lot of things that is very useful later. However I stopped after like four months working there to pursue another option. The main reason I am leaving because I was afraid of  being alone and there were some sort of dissatisfaction with the management at that tuiton centre
Being in Kelantan, the situation kind of hard. I have to live and act in a sleazy, scammy sort of way. People were mostly not nice, unfriendly and sometimes so disrespectful. I exactly knew this would happen, so I was not surprise. But then I was handed a job that is being a teacher again. How could I be so lucky? Not so lucky if judged on how I blended myself with all those student to make them understand my teaching. The biggest thing ever happened was how I realized that I was merely a human and I depended on Allah in everything I did. Allah would finalize on whether whatever things I did would come out fruitful or just a futile attempt. I was so stupid to ignore this from the start and even getting as far as questioning Allah mysterious ways. I am fully regret for what I have done and I would do anything to rectify things which have gone wrong. Now, I am living with no doubts and the situation was peace again even not all
When I watched the Ugly Betty, I could not agree enough that I was Betty-la-male. Not forgotton, the way she put her life and people around her were just as same as I was. Fashion disaster, no money parts, things not under control, all of sudden surprises etc.  All the characters explained who I was and myself and Betty have a lot in common. The way Betty work hard to put everything together reminded me the moment I pulled myself hard enough to pass the calculus paper. It was tense but I was able to cruise through. Betty had eaten Ramen in order to cope with the expensive cost  of living in Manhattan and there I was, I used to eat Nasi Goreng with Ikan Patin Masal lemak or Telur Mata Kerbau to save money. Me and Betty. We were the same person. No, we were twin. Come new year, I just wanted to live with peace, be more Betty and always being grateful for whatever Allah gave me and become a better person than I am now.

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